Nothing to Worry About
by Moonie
Summary: Remus looks back at James and Lily's death, and Sirius having to be in hiding, blaming it on himself. If you're already depressed, not very good reading for you. ^_^; Chap. 2 up.
1. Nothing to Worry About....

Disclaimer: I do not own Remus, but would kill for the chance to have him. Hell, his robes would do!  
  
The full moon passed about a week ago. Nothing to worry about.  
  
I lied to myself. There is something to worry about.  
  
James and Lily are dead. Sirius is hiding, and Peter...that thing doesn't deserve to live. Why did I, Remus Lupin, the werewolf, the shamed creature, manage to live like this? The truth was, I really didn't want to live. Death would bring great comfort to me, and I know that, but it would pain others. Lead Sirius to death would be all that would do. Tears of grief stream down my face from time to time as I think back at our school days. I wish it was I that dies instead of James and Lily. They had a great future ahead of them, a son, Harry, but I was not married nor in love. I had tried that before, but the girls turned away at finding out what I was. A beast, that's all. With the exception of one, that is. She died.  
  
Death is a horrible thing. Death takes away love, hope, and everything that is possibly good, and happy. It takes away everything that makes you truly live. I feel empty inside now, without love, and having a large lack in friends. Last year, Albus Dumbledore was kind enough to give me a job at Hogwarts when everyone else shunned me and turned me down. Bless him; he always tried to do everything he could for me. I don't think I'll ever be able to repay all of the good things he's done for me. I close my eyes, open them after a while, and then go to a cabinet above the sink in my miniscule bathroom. I pick out a vial filled with silver-blue liquid. If I drink it, my pain will be gone, but it will add pain to others. Drinking it would be selfish. Hell, death is selfish, I think in anger. I take the weak cork off of the tiny bottle and bring it to my lips. It tastes sweet and bitter, and slips gently down my throat.  
  
I realize what I've done, and quickly write a letter to Sirius. Oh God, I'm going to die. I don't want to. James? Can you hear me? I'm coming to see you. United again, two of the Marauders. I'm getting a bit dizzy as I set the owl out of the open window. I sit down. Sweat beads on my forehead, and my breathing becomes quicker. I realize it's becoming harder for me to breathe. My heart slows, I can feel it. I try to block out the pain-why hadn't I chosen a death less painful? The pain will be over soon, and I'll be happy again, I think to myself. It must have been thirty minutes since I took that death potion, and I realize I'm breathing final, slow breaths as the owl from Sirius flutters into the window. I use all of my strength to open it, and the first words I manage to make out are Remus, I know you'll probably be dying when you read this, and I'll try to come before it's too late. Remus, I may be the only one of the Marauders left, but I love you Moony, and don't forget  
that.  
  
My vision goes blurry. The note feels harder to grip, and I slip into a deep sleep that I'll never wake up from...Goodbye, Sirius. I love you too.  
  
A/N- I know...it's really depressing, I happened to be VERY depressed when I wrote this. By the way, the little `I Love you's' happen to be in a friendly way, you pervs. Please R&R, and please, no flames. I happen to be on the edge just like Remus, thank you. 


	2. Safe With Me, Now

Hullo again! I wasn't going to write a sequel for this…even though I didn't want my Remmy to die! Actually, after reading the wonderful four reviews by wonderful people, I've been sitting, shocked by my computer. But, by popular demand…er…three reviews…I'm writing another chapter! I didn't know that people would like this that much...thank you so much everyone for all of your support, and I'll try to get some more fics up soon. Keep telling me if you want this fic to continue!  
  
  
  
My Remmy can't die. What has he done now? He must have been joking when he sent me that owl…must have just wanted to see me again…but no…the writing was not normal. I know Moony's handwriting. He was perfectly serious about this.  
  
I don't want to be the only one left with the bastard that betrayed James and Lily. Remus won't leave me, it's not like him. He knows how death ruins love; he wouldn't do that to me…would he?  
  
I rush to Remus's small flat. Maybe I'm not too late…maybe I can still save him. But what did he take? Panic rushes through my body. What if I can't cure him? Then I should die too. Like Romeo and Juliet. Remus can be Juliet; he was always the girly one. I mentally slap myself; this is no time to be funny.  
  
I stop cold in the doorway. What if Remus never did love me like I loved him? I shake my head and hurry in the open door, praying I won't find what my nightmares provided scenes of.  
  
There he is, golden eyes clenched shut, crying, sitting on the floor by a scarlet chair. I kneel beside him.  
  
"Remus, get up. Come on, then, get up. Please, love?" I say softly. He hears me, perks up, but his eyes are still clenched shut. "It hurts? What did you take?" I whisper. He weakly raises a tiny vial with a small amount of liquid in it. His hands are shaking violently. I take it gently from him. I don't recognize it, but I think hard. Not something I normally do.  
  
"Remmy…I need your wand to Apparate. We need help." He doesn't respond before I take the mahogany-colored wand from his robe pocket and try my best to think of someone…anyone…that could help Remus. I close my eyes, when suddenly, and idea comes to me. I mutter the words and vanish with Remus.  
  
"Don't worry, my Moony. You're safe, with me now." I look into his pale face after I walk quickly up a dirt path, holding him in my arms.  
  
"Just please…don't die and leave me here…" I add softly as an afterthought.  
  
I don't think this one was as good as the last, but please R&R to tell me. Next chapter soon, since it's Spring Break and I have too much time on my hands. -_-; And don't anyone tell me he should be dead! It's my story! *sticks out tongue* 


	3. Walk It With Me

I don't own Sirius or Remus, but I would love to. J.K. Rowling does. Had this written since a day after the last chapter just too lazy to post it. Dedicated to Remmy and everyone who reviewed! Obviously, my wonderful reviewers don't want this as a slash, so I won't turn it into one. ^_^ Who loves me? ^_^  
  
I don't know what happened after I died, but…I didn't die. Somehow, Sirius showed up just in time to save me. I remember his presence, but nothing else.  
  
"Remmy? You okay today?" I heard Sirius, but couldn't see him.  
  
"Turn on the lights."  
  
"Might be good, huh?" The lights flickered on, but didn't make much difference. My eyes were blurry, and all I could see of my long-haired-hero was a blur with long, matted, black marks for hair.  
  
"Can't see you well." I mutter, and rub my eyes. I can make out lines now, but I close my eyes again. Not much worth seeing.  
  
"Why'd you make me turn on the lights, then?" Sirius jokes. I don't laugh.  
  
"Sorry… didn't mean anything. Anything I can get you, then?" he asks me, looking genuinely concerned.  
  
"No, I think I'll be all right if I rest a bit more."  
  
"Okay…but can I ask you something?" I sigh. I'm beginning to get so tired that my eyes are barely open when I answer him.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Remmy…why do you want to die?" he asks. I snort, pull the covers over me and fall quickly back to sleep.  
  
  
  
When I wake up, Sirius is next to me and I feel a lot better. I'm actually able to see now, and I don't feel very dizzy anymore.  
  
"Feeling better now, Moony?" He asks.  
  
"Yeah…" I roll over to face him.  
  
"Can you answer my question now?" He obviously isn't rushing me. I sigh again.  
  
"James and Lily are dead, Peter still is a bastard that hasn't been caught yet, I'm a werewolf…"  
  
"You have me." Sirius interrupts.  
  
"And that's all I have." I reply, bitterly. Silence follows.  
  
"Ready to eat anything now?" He asks finally.  
  
"Whatever you want to fix." I say, smiling weakly. Sirius seems really concerned, and I realize what a true friend must really be. Whatever road I have to take, I know now  
  
that from now on I'll have someone to walk it with me.  
  
~*~  
  
I think my technique is running out as I go, but you guys let me know if I need to do anything to make it better. 


	4. Author Note

A little note from…me!  
  
Okay, some of my wonderful reviewers say "Make it slash! Make it slash!"  
  
Some of you say, "Don't turn it slash!"  
  
So, I decided that to make my readers happy, I'll go alternate ending from here.  
  
*mutters* Damn, that means double the writing….  
  
Yeah, so that's what I'll do. Enjoy! 


	5. Chapter Four....what more can I say?

Okay, I REALLY think I'm running out of technique, now. This is the first chapter in the non-slash ending. I think I'll put like three chapters in each. Sounds easy enough, right? Thanks to all my reviewers, and all the people that support me. I can only write these when I'm in a depressed mood, so that's why it's taking so long..sorry! I do not own any Harry Potter characters, but wish I did.  
  
~*~ Sirius brings me lunch, or dinner, I've lost track, in bed, and I eat it, happy to be actually eating real food now. I eat it eagerly, and lay back down into the surprisingly comfortable pillow. I close my eyes, but sit up suddenly as I realize something that I had failed to ask before. "Sirius! What if you get caught?" I ask, staring at him, wide-eyed. Sirius chuckled, but I heard a hint of nervousness. "I won't get caught, Remus.": He said, gathering the empty plate, wiping crumbs off of the sheets, and going into the kitchen. I was really worried, though. Maybe he didn't notice. "Sirius, I'm worried you'll get caught. I'll be fine." I lied. He wasn't going to Azkaban for nothing, again. He peeked out form the kitchen again. "Look, I'm not going to get caught. Everything will be fine. There's nothing to worry about." Nothing to worry about. That's the lie I told to myself before. Why do people keep telling me that? There's plenty to worry about. I realize how much I miss James. He would know exactly what to do in a situation like this, and I know that Lily would. They were both like that. Harry's a good reflection of the two of them, Ron's always saying how nice he is to him. I smile. Ron reminds me a lot of myself. He's not that well off, but he's one of the nicest blokes I know. I haven't ever heard him say a cruel thing (except to the Slytherins, and I don't really blame him) and he has such high standards he needs to live up to, and strives hard to do so, but often thinks he can't make it.  
  
Sirius and I just spend the rest of the afternoon filling each other in on everything that's happened in the past few months since we'd seen one another. I really begin to wonder how actually living in a flat now, and going out to get food doesn't get him caught. I decide not to ask, he'd probably just tell me there was nothing to worry about. We eat dinner and sit around. We don't really do much other, after all, I need time to recover. When I finally agree with Sirius about being too weak to stay up much longer, I retreat to bed, and Sirius curls up in the overstuffed chair beside the bed, falling asleep immediately. I smile, and fall asleep to his snores.  
  
~*~  
  
Okay, I'm trying really hard to get this done, but I think it's starting to sound.I dunno.dumb? I'll try to get more stuff going on so it won't be as boring once Remus gets to feeling a bit better. 


	6. Five...only one more to go! *sighs happi...

Oh, I am so tired of writing this series! I think I'll just hurry up and get it over with.^_^; I'm working on an original I like so much more.Refer to dedications in other stories for this chapter, I don't feel like writing them. I now officially own the character of Oliver Wood because he is hot! I'm working on Remus.  
  
*cough* I wish.  
  
~*~  
  
I woke up a bit too early the next morning. The sun was just beginning to rise, and those annoying little birds were chirping nonstop. I was starving, so I tossed the sheets to the side and headed towards the kitchen. I was feeling much better now, and I guessed I was almost fully recovered. I sleepily put some bread in the toaster and waited for it to brown. I leaned against the counter, and the toast popped up, giving me a rude awakening. Yawning, I munched on the toast and sat at the small table. Those birds were getting really annoying now, so I got up and slammed the window shut. That was better. Sirius wakes up and yawns loudly. I can hear him looking for me, and I cough loudly to let him know I'm in here. He turns, looks into the kitchen, and shuffles in to tell me, "Good Morning." We're both seriously not morning people. He makes coffee for himself. I don't really care for it, too strong. We eat in silence, but, being Sirius, he breaks it. "Feeling better, then?" He asks, grinning. I nod slowly. "That's great. Should I go in to town today?" He asks. My eyes widen, and I shake my head. There is no way I'm letting him get caught. I don't want to be left alone again. I might do the wrong thing, like before. "James.you miss him, don't you, Sirius?" I ask, taking another bite of my toast. Sirius sets down his mug, and stares into space for a bit. He looks me in the eye. "Bloody hell, yeah I miss him. I would do anything to bring him back, and-" "What if I told you we could bring him back?" I ask, setting my toast down and looking back at him. "No, Remus, we can't, okay? We can't." He's getting angry with me now. This is obviously a very sensitive subject to him, and I really don't blame him. I would be like this is my best friend died also. Well, I am sad, but James wasn't my best friend. As much as I hate to say it, I think I was closer to Peter than anyone else. I could relate to him- we were both weak, and I liked helping him with his homework, anyways. Sirius gets up from the table, drains his mug, and starts to head out the kitchen door. I grab the sleeve of his robes. "Sirius, we can find ways you never even imagined of. I want James and Lily back as much as you do. It could take a while, but I'm sure, us, we could do it." I try to look really innocent, so maybe he would believe me. Wrong. Werewolves are bad at that. He yanks his sleeve away and glares. "Shut up. Be happy I'm even letting you stay here. After all the times you were nice to that- rat- I shouldn't even be talking to you." He turns and goes outside, slamming the door behind him. "Sirius.." I mutter, sighing and putting my hand down.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Ah.angst. Well, I'll have them be friends again and live happily ever after ion the last chapter. Just like everything is supposed to turn out. *rolls eyes* Read my other stories, have a happy pineapple, and I'm cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor..  
  
Long stories. Peace! 


End file.
